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tezza

Locusts ?

Nile turned to Blood again ?

The Wrong Type of Fire followed by the Wrong Type of Brimstone ?

Frogs blocked the way ?

Not enough sunlight for 3 days?

Family Bereavement.

Loss of Hebrew assistants

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Really is kind of a circuitous solution for an all powerful deity, no?

Moses: um...lord, we're kind of tired of being slaves. Could you look into that?

Lord: Ok! I'll issue 10 plagues of increasing discomfort until Pharaoh breaks!!!

Moses: Couldn't you just teleport us to the promised land or something. These guys are jerks, but do you need to kill their kids?

lightning crashes

Moses: OK OK! Point taken. We'll do the plagues...

Don't forget that the $promisedLand was already inhabited, so you have to kill every man, woman, child before you can have it. What's that? More questioning my authority? Let's see if 40 years in the desert strengthens your faith.

That time we listened to a bush and ended up wandering around the desert without a clear exit strategy..

Sounds like a Nostradamus prediction where it was written in code, so people thought about a literal bush speaking. In reality, we see what was actually foretold panned out, but nobody wants to admit it.

I was about to make a joke about small errors radically changing the meaning of the text, then I saw what you did.

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