As a former vehement atheist, learning more about Christianity. It’s a daily process.
The process really started for me when I realized that God is ultimately a philosophical question (God is Ipsum Esse) rather than a scientific one. If science could answer everything, then we might as well throw out the entire field of philosophy after all..
This is how I started to study philosophy and theology (both _serious_ Atheist philosophers such as Jean Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, .. as well theologians).
I think it has been an absolute net positive in my life. I've gained a wealth of knowledge, significantly grown my network and feel much more grounded in my spiritual well being.
You should however, be prepared to be ridiculed if you outwardly practice your faith. I was surprised how many people would essentially conclude that I am either not educated or "brain washed".
I was also an atheist fundamentalist, I still don't think I believe in God, but that book showed me how Christianity shaped the west. The history of Christianity is fascinating.
* https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35592365-five-proofs-of-...
Anecdotally, I don't know anybody that became Atheist recently but many that embraced some kind of Theism. No matter how we deal with it, Atheism is linked to individualism and it may make your existence more difficult than it needs to be. By the other hand, Theism is linked to communities. There's nothing better to unite people as a shared belief.
I see what you are saying; but this idea, which I have seen expressed many times, has always perplexed me. I understand that, pragmatically speaking, having a shared belief in a supreme being may be beneficial; but one cannot just turn a belief on or off based on how beneficial it is. Even if it is true that the believers live a psychologically better, healthier and more fulfilling life (as opposed to, say, agonizing whether they will end up in hell), it is only a statement about their mental state rather than about the truth of what they believe in.
True, but you can soften your views. I soften mine after sharing my life with a Christian for several years. I used to assist weekly mass - as a non believer - with an open mind. I didn't convert but it changed me. I morphed from a raw Atheist to an Agnostic. She made me understand that I don't need to believe, only respect to be included in the community.
It started when I stopped seeing religion as an "edgy atheist" that would make fun of everything. Then I listened to Jordan Peterson's "Biblical Series" podcast which made me see the contents of the Bible from another perspective.
That made me read and listen more to religion related stuff. I'm also very analytical and critical with everything and if something doesn't make sense I won't simply accept it because I should believe it.
I wouldn't consider myself religious but I wouldn't dare say God doesn't exist because I'm pretty sure He does.
I see it as a journey, now. And it doesn't have to do anything with getting older and being afraid of death. I made my peace with the ending of my own existence/conscience when I was an atheist. That doesn't scare me at all.
And C.S. Lewis, of course, but you're already reading him.
Books by (Brother) Guy Consolmagno, the Director of the Vatican Observatory, are also worth checking out:
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Consolmagno
Perhaps specifically God's Mechanics: How Scientists and Engineers Make Sense of Religion. Interview:
But this is not to be confused with some sort of cosmic operating system?
Much hinges on definitiona here. And there isn't much need to continue this further here. Cheers!
> this should be expected
there is some larger evaluation context implied, which I find interesting.
Repackaged: I don't know how much faith I can place in random sequences.
But some books (Mere Christianity, The Case for Christ, The Believing Scientist, stuff by Garry Habermas, etc.), Wikipedia, the Bible (especially letters of Paul and historical analysis of them), Reddit, going to Church, taking Alpha course provided by it, talking with pastors, with Christians, random articles (e.g. https://faculty.som.yale.edu/jameschoi/whychrist/), thinking about things myself, etc.