Ask HN: Is your life your work? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Is your life your work?

9 pointsx0ner4 comments

I am a single, twenty-something in DC who has a huge passion for information security. I have landed a job where I can do almost whatever I want with people around me who generally share the same passion. Across the street is a supermarket, I absolutely love the area I am surrounded by, I have access to a multi-story gym, bars and restaurants across the street and more technology than I could ever want. More and more I am seeing my "home" (a couple miles away) as just a place to sleep where even that can be substituted for a cot.

This community is largely built around those that never stop working, ones that always push harder and shoot for constant improvement. This doesn't account for all of the people here, but generally I have noticed that startups and products require tender loving care much like a child would and it is up to you to foster your dreams into a healthy reality.

So is your life your work? Why or why not?

No. It was, once, until I realized that I could have my startup or my sanity, and I chose my sanity. (And then my life became my work once again once I got put on an important project at my employer, go figure, but again I figured that I could choose my smarts or my sanity, and again I decided to go for sanity.)

Ironically, I've found I became more effective once I let go a little bit and gave myself permission to be lazy once in a while. My startup failed despite my best efforts, and I struggled for almost 2 years after getting a job to get promoted. And then once I said "fuck it", the promotion came within 4 months, I started becoming respected within the organization and known as the "go-to" guy for projects, people started listening to my ideas, and I became a whole lot happier inside and outside of work.

I suspect that what's going on is that that hyper-focus causes you to ignore the world around you and miss opportunities. I wrote a helluva lot of code in that time period, but most of it was solving the wrong problems. Once I took a step back and said "Okay. Enough code. I'll start paying attention to people instead", I got a much better sense of what they actually want. I write a lot less - and a lot of the time, I just get someone else to write it for me ;-) - but what I do write generally makes someone happy.

This could only last so long. Eventually, you would realize you become smarter and have much more knowledge as you age. Also, other things will eventually kick in. So now is probably a good time to learn as much as you can, by giving yourself as much break as you require.

Once you hit 2-3 burnout phases, you will realize what you've known all along.

Definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Turns out a lot of time when your work is your life, you are not allowing yourself time to look your work at a higher, simpler level of abstraction, and you end repeating a lot of mistakes at different levels.

Once you start taking some time off from work, you come back so refreshed and with a much better perspective too.

In long run, I think this is why slowly after your twenties, your work is not your life anymore, since you would have learned so much by then, and be smarter about everything in life.

Plus family and friends do take some more time than now.

It's all about finding the best balance that works for you, where balance does not necessarily mean equal distribution of time.

I really think this is why there is no one single formula for success and happiness, you have to find what combination of external environmental factors and internal thought process works best for you, and also it changes a lot with time.

>"So is your life your work? Why or why not?"

No.

Because I have a life away from work - children, aging parents, long time friends, recreational pastimes, intellectual interests, etc.

In other words, I'm not in my twenties.

Enjoy it while it lasts and good luck.

My recreational pastimes and intellectual interests are my work. Wouldn't have it any other way. (Or I'd find a different job doing those things.)

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