Did you try? Asking because I never did in a similar position.
I'm still processing this truth. I basically put my life, university and career on stop to help my sister. I oscillate between thinking "I'm a good person" to "I just wish I were a selfish bastard".
Definitely a loser's strategy.
Curious, help with what? Why did you have to put your life on hold?
You prioritized one are over another and there is nothing wrong with that.
My particular solution to your dilemma was to find a better circle of friends. An anime club, of all things, some 20 years ago. The specific hobby doesn't matter, but having compatible people around helped a lot. I'm almost equally uncomfortable in the classic "party" scenario as I was at 18, but in my current lifestyle that happens maybe once a decade. The rest is filled with socializing, my way.
As for putting honesty and other people before yourself... hehe. That's classic lack of social skills and reading cues. Did that - god, that used to do a number on my dating experiences. Sometimes you have to NOT say the first thing that comes to your head. That's the first skill to learn. Second you'll find a small voice inside your head that'll start telling you when you're about to say the wrong thing - start cultivating it. But first of all you need the commitment to actually listen to it, and squash any trace of "but than I won't be the authentic me" excuse.
>squash any trace of "but than I won't be the authentic me" excuse.
This is super important. We, for lack of a better phrase, live in a society. And that means getting along with others in that society even though you might have to put on a false front from time to time. Other people will construct their own image of you that you will find to be inaccurate anyways, no matter how honest you may be.
The key I learned (for I used to be like you) was to just talk less. Not everything must be said. Preserves my honesty (I didn’t lie, I merely kept quiet). Preserves the peace. And so on.
I think I am pretty damn honest and my experience is that the more honest I am, the better my life becomes.
This holds true in my work, my relationships, and most importantly with myself
Always putting the well-being of other people before your own is indeed a bad strategy. It ignores self care and leaves you open to be taken advantage of.
You can do a lot more good if you are mentally and physically healthy and not being continually scammed.
As a trite example, I like to pick up mentally unstable hitchhikers (literally). I don't do it on my way to a job interview, and I don't do it if they seem especially dangerous.
This way I get to keep helping.