I haven't bought Elden Ring yet (it has been a very busy year), but I was alarmed by your claim that you "have to" use a controller, but now that I learn you're just wrong about DS1, I can calm down and carry on.
Also, "requires hyper optimal play"? Are you kidding? Just because kids who've never played a hard game think Souls games are hard doesn't mean it's true.
My husband used to be like you until they got into Nuclear Throne, now they're at home with a controller for games that work better that way. A twin-stick shooter is probably much better to learn a controller with than Elden Ring IMHO. Or a friendlier jumpy-adventurey-fighty game like Spyro or Sonic or Breath of the Wild that's built with the assumption they might be some kid's very first encounter with this style of game, and has appropriate amounts of training.
But really, there's only so much time in a life to play video games, and only so much time in a life for everything you enjoy doing. If don't wanna get used to a controller then, well, that's fine. You'd miss out on a ton of great games even if your day job was nothing but playing them.