Very Bad.

* Preparing to work/move to US from CA (as a Canadian) as a SDE with 10yr exp

* Grinding Leetcode (quit hobbies to do so)

* Improving but not at the pace I want

* Failed easy-medium coding test at $SHOP

* Demoralized, rethinking career choice

* Thinking when I can stop leetcoding..when I eventually stop being SDE?

* Thinking about what happiness is

* Met with mental health mentor for the first time. Cried. Not b/c of Leetcode but b/c of future suffering of immigration yet again. (I usually don't cry)

* Grinding Leetcode again during work

* Fear of failing yet another interview

* Exhausting thinking leetcoding forever

* Envy other jobs that doesn't test you with riddles on interview