It's like losing weight - you HAVE to account for EVERYTHING.

Spend some serious time going over your spending (you don't need to make a "budget" per se, but DO map out exactly where the money is going) and preferably over an entire year. Many people get blown out of the water by expenses that only come in yearly (think: property tax that isn't escrowed, etc).

Convert everything to monthly billing (even if that means sending money monthly to escrow or a separate account) so you can track it down exactly.

Once you have it all laid out, it will be pretty clear what should be done (and just like with weight loss, it will often be something you don't want to hear).

If after all that, the debt load is way too high, consider bankruptcy. Done strategically it can be worthwhile.