Ask HN: What are some counterintuitive things in life? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: What are some counterintuitive things in life?

12 pointsjoeamroo16 comments

I recently came upon the realization that doing some-things in life would actually bring the opposite of the result I was intuitively expecting.

I was wondering If anyone had a similar experience where they realized that doing something often leads to the other manifesting?

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In an argument with a loved one, “winning” is often losing.

You have to let go of trying to win and instead try to understand. As soon as you stop trying to win, that’s the moment you find win/win.

In A Family Argument, If It Turns Out You Are Right, Apologize At Once! -- Lazarus Long

Anyone worth being around does not argue because they think they are wrong, but because they think they are right. That means there must be a rational way to believe the opposite of what you do. To solve the argument and find a path forward requires considering from their viewpoint. The questions I ask myself are: what assumptions might we differ on? What differences in value of outcomes do we have? Usually it is a simple misunderstanding, but it can take some work to find it.

If someone assumes something bad about you, don't correct them. This includes stereotypes. If it is a misunderstanding, let them learn the hard way so they won't repeat it. If it is evil intent in their part, let them face the natural consequence of their intent.

Hatred and evil are naturally destructive to their beholder. If not destructive, it will transform.

It is better to understand that and attempt to succeed in your goals unaffected one way or the other by your hater. As they say, the best vengeance is a life well lived. Not that I promote being vengeful, but to someone who hates you it will anger, frustrate and fret them even more when you succeed. As natural as it may feel, do not accompany your enemy in their miserable hatred and prejudice.

What do you mean by "letting them learn the hard way"? Its not always the case that things would be equal and that your bully will face the consequences of his actions.

Whatever you fear, finds you. If you're too generous, you will soon find it the universe decides you have too much. You can't improve yourself, because the part that is trying to improve itself is the one doing the improvement. To know something is to have power of it, generally, but what if the reverse is true? What if knowing something gives it power over you? Ignorance is our ammunition. The unexpected virtue of ignorance.

This feels like a GPT comment. Some pithy ideas but they just don't have any truth in my personal experience. and the whole "what if the reverse is true?" bit that leads to extolling the virtue of ignorance (??). Not even worth debating.

Is this a GPT based reply?

I would say it is. The OP is right that there are many things in life that we don't know for sure, and that it can be liberating to realize that we don't have to have all the answers. However, the idea that ignorance is a virtue is simply absurd. Ignorance is the root of all kinds of problems, both personal and societal. It is only by constantly expanding our knowledge and understanding that we can hope to make progress in the world.

Yours or mine? :) I mean GPT is clever enough that anything might fall under suspicion. But the one I was referring to just didn't seem to have any truth to it and not even much internal coherence beyond contrarianism.

This is a fun wikipedia article on perverse incentives where you aim for something you want and it has the opposite outcome https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perverse_incentive

The best time in your life is spent building your future, and the rest of your life is spent remembering the past good times.

Unavailability is the cologne of desire.

Gravity. Basketballs and bowling balls fall at the same rate.

Bowling balls fall faster. Edit: because of air resistance.

Why would there be a difference in air resistance if they are the same shape and size?

1) Are they of the same size? 2) Basketballs are less dense, so they are more buoyant in air. This produces an upward force which decelerates its fall.

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