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If it's useless, I'd be happy to take it off your hands!

I'm not saying it's useful or useless, I'm asking for a definition of "useful".

According to parent, "useful" = "being able to buy things". Which crypto lets you do.

So, parent has some thought contradictions

I've tried to buy things with crypto.

It's easier to barter. By a longshot.

Easier for you, due to your n00biness. For me, it's as easy as swiping a visa card (that's literally all it takes).