Ask HN: Free indoor adult-friendly solo activities away from home | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Free indoor adult-friendly solo activities away from home

11 pointsanonym2918 comments

Not explicitly tech related, but trying to solve a problem that tech is failing me on.

I am looking for ideas of solo adult-friendly indoor activities, done away from home, that do not cost anything, besides the cost of transportation to get there. An example would be quietly reading books at Barnes and Noble without buying any.

Finding any results for such ideas has proven incredibly elusive on multiple search engines, with several dozen search variations now (including many with numerous advanced operators). Many seem to think I'm either trying to start a business for free, or trying to entertain kids indoors on a rainy day.

Any ideas on other such activities, or search terms that help uncover them? I'm employed at FAANG as an SWE, it's not like I'm incompetent using search engines, but I'm getting nowhere with this on my own.

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I don't know how closely this is to OP, but even before the pandemic I was looking for 'a third place' to hang out after work before commuting home as public transit can be too busy for my liking. There's a lot fewer options than you might think. Few coffee shops are good to staying more than 10s of minutes (annoying music, too much traffic, etc). Not many libraries in the city core. I often just had an early dinner trying something new if I could and sat for a while more, which isn't quite what I was looking for.

Now with 'the office' being the same as home, I really need to find a 2nd place. The only thing I'd found was driving less and walking to stores and coffee shops within distance.

I tried some co-working spaces, but they were too worky. Seems like an opportunity: co-hanging spaces. Some places were good, but after I had a coffee, a tea, biscuits, I didn't know what else do to but leave.

Coworking spaces can vary a lot depending on culture. A smaller one I loved had a great community that would also stick around and play games or go out for drinks after work or whatever. If you stay away from the big corporate chains, you might find more community.

There are also many activity-based community hangouts, like bouldering gyms, crossfit or spinning studios, board game cafes, disc golf places, hipster arcades, yoga studios, martial arts places, wine bars, neighborhood dives, bookstores, gardens, dance communities, etc.

A common thread between those is that they're usually the same group of mostly regulars, which means they can actually develop communities and cause people to organically hang out outside the activity itself. A lot of bouldering gyms, for example, recently became coworking spaces too where people can sit and do work even if they're not climbing. Bookstores often offer cafes for their clients and regulars to hang out at. Many pubs and dives have wifi now.

Maybe instead of spaces where you sit and do nothing (unless that's the goal), occupying your time with activities might give you more hangout options (and hopefully fun?)

Why does it have to not cost anything? If you can spend $5 you open up entire categories of businesses that exist specifically as adult hangout spots: cafes, bars, wine bars, board game cafes, whatever. You said you're doing FIRE but also are a SWE. Surely you can pick up a side project or something and pay for like an entire year of these hangouts for a few days of work. Your mental health is worth it, no?

$5 for a few hours of hanging out in a safe and curated space really isn't a bad deal at all (it might be for the business, but not for you).

Back when I was in a similar boat, spending time at these community spaces and just being among people, whether I was working or reading or goofing off or people watching, really helped keep me sane.

If you can spend a little more, $10 or $20, it also opens up bowling, golf ranges, climbing, various lessons, concerts, lectures, etc.

The hard part here isn't the solo adult activity, it's being too cheap to support businesses that provide those activities.

If it really really really has to be free all the time, depending on where you are, there might still be some options:

-city council meetings or other public meetings if you're interested

-free museums or free days in museums (or botanical gardens, aquariums, arboretums, etc.) Many will have a mix of indoor/outdoor space.

-malls and food courts, or the new hipster shopping plazas that are like fancy malls with more iron and wood (common in some areas, not so much others)

-look on TripAdvisor and find cheap/free things

-airports and train/union stations before security

-libraries and universities

-art galleries are often free to browse

-coworking spaces sometimes offer work trade arrangements, if you'd rather pay them in time rather than dollars

-you can hang out at Starbucks and not buy anything and nobody will usually hassle you (I think it's corporate policy after a lawsuit a while ago). It's kinda a dick thing to do though if you're relatively well off and can afford even a basic drip coffee + tip

Not targeted at the OP, but I’ve noticed that (despite being one of the best paid group) tech folk can have _incredibly_ tight purse strings, probably stemming from the “I can make it myself” mentality.

See for example the outrage when LastPass announced they’d start charging a few dollars a month.

This certainly matches my limited personal experience. Refusing to tip 20%, for example, when you literally make ten times more than the person who's serving you and cleaning up after your piss in the bathroom... it just doesn't sit right with me.

In the case of small local businesses, each one is like a tiny startup, often someone's life's dream, with (by tech standards) very little investment, hard to hire for labor, a ton of regulations to work around, ever increasing rent, etc. They just cannot offer their services for free; it's not like they can just buy more VMs and scale up their coffee production or staff or whatever.

The OP wants community, but the people who work hard to create local communities have bills to pay too. SWEs talk about FIRE while some of the waitstaff may never even be able to retire, or have health insurance or vacations, etc. C'mon, it's not going to make or break you to actually contribute to local economic activity instead of hoarding wealth.

Find your nearest juggling club on https://jugglingedge.com

Not exactly free but very cheap - you can buy props for a few bucks and they last for years. Not exactly solo but pretty close - many Jugglers are introverts that go to juggling clubs mostly to practice by themselves in a corner.

As a bonus a large proportion of Jugglers are also SWEs so it's a great networking opportunity. I have personally received multiple job offers from fellow Jugglers.

- art classes (ceramics, painting, drawing, cooking, music)

- guest lectures at local colleges

- live music at restaurants or bars (not always free, but sometimes it is)

- any sports/exercise at YMCA (not totally free, but incredibly inexpensive and saves money in the long run if it helps you exercise)

You are really limiting yourself by limiting free and indoor activities. Free and outdoor, that's the whole world. A walk, a hike, camping, watching a sunset, fishing, hunting, wild life photography, star gazing, bird watching, geocaching, rock hounding, survivalist training, surveying, gardening, going to a park...

Why would you quietly read books at Barnes and Noble, rather than your local library? They will even let you borrow the books.

As for a simple search term: free museums in <geographic area of interest> if you are willing to drive there, 5-10usd shouldn't make a difference and you will have lots more options.

If your budget doesn't allow you to spend money while you're making money now, how's the quality of FI/RE life gonna be later?

A JCC/YMCA/gym membership is worth it even as an investment for your future health. Or go volunteer at your local food bank, or pick up a weekend retail shift.

Going to work during weekends. My manager used to do this as a way to escape from his family.

What is the goal of the time spending, is it teambuilding for a group of people? Or maybe you are just bored of sitting in front of computer?

Edit: did not see "solo" word. How about sport activities? Running costs literally zero, some other sports like longboarding requires a little bit of gear. Hiking/bikepacking is another popular choice which costs absolutely nothing.

No, solo activity. Need to find something to do outside of my tiny apartment and local bookstore to not go crazy. Doing FIRE on an extremely tight budget. Major health issues arise spending any meaningful amount of time outdoors this time of year for me, unfortunately.

Let me divide all possible time spendings in categories:

1. Sports - all I have mentioned in edit but not limited to it. Somebody likes speed, somebody likes heighth, somebody likes heavylifting. Sometimes health issues limits what you can do. Sometimes skill matters. Or good company. Or geography, seazon, weather. Looking at weather forecast may be a big deal for newbie outdoor discoverer.

2. Travelling - chose your desired transport, point B, time, money, DRP and go!

3. Doing something with your hands - works best either at your own yard or when you are in group with experienced master. Examples: welding (but not soldering), gardening, building, crafting, digging.

4. Just relaxing - cafes, open-airs, festivals, artwatching, birdwatching, trainwatching, laying on the beach, taking part in a barbeque party. Definitely more that I can count, just only a music festival of different genre may be so different from other genres.

5. Degrading - doing criminal activities, making stupid videos for yt/tt, watching that videos. Also boozing.

6. Hunting for sex - no comments.

7. Real hunting (not only shooting) or at least fishing.

8. Meditating (for advanced outdoor masters) - try spending as much time as possible (8-12 hours is a good start) without moving or bio feeling, or even thinking (especially without thinking). Works best if a long and exhausting way back home is needed afterwards. Does not work if any computer device is anywhere less than 1km near you. Needs a little square carpet of foldable chair for sitting (laying is not an option).

9 (bonus for programmers) Coding somewhere on open air, try this now because on the Northern semisphere these are the warmest days ever. Needs lots of spare batteries especially if Internet is needed.

If you have any public library in your vicinity, then that could be a place to hang out.

Or a book store. Just buy a book once you're done.

Just go to the nearest indoor mall and walk laps. Good for your health and free.

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