Comment by jayceedenton | Hacker News Reader

Comment by jayceedenton | Hacker News Reader

Sorry, the last two paragraphs got to me. You need to lighten up, and start trying to understand your fellow man. Small talk is never just small talk. It's a way of starting to understand another human being in some small way. It's just the beginning.

You've adopted 'not seeing others' as a personality trait. It isn't, and there are no prizes for living a profound, lonely life, hoping to understand something deep about your own soul. Grow up.

Just try taking a genuine interest in someone other than yourself. You don't even need to agree with them, just respect them as beings with as much depth as you and enjoy the hunt for common ground. You may never find it with some, but occasionally you will. And god you will learn more every time.

You don't have unlimited time to fix this. You will realise at some point in your old age feeling like a special and deep thinker is not worth dying alone for.

This reads like a 21st century Holden Caulfield. Sorry that's a low blow, but it comes from a place of compassion. I think some tough love is in order and you need to hear it.

That's a little harsh.

A common misunderstanding about introverts is that they don't much enjoy talking with others. For many, it's rather that they are seeking meaningful communication, not vacuous chitchat about the weather or the Kardashians. That's what the author is expressing I think.

At the same time there are plenty of people who can chitchat about drivel for hours, and will actively stop any conversation at a deeper level. For introverts, these are exhausting interactions. Some small talk really is small talk, and it's not realistic to expect others to just exhaust their energy in trying to move those conversations to a deeper plane.

There is a reason it is called a "conversation". You are not blown hither and yon by the winds of fate. You can steer. Some people won't go where you want to, but there are a lot of people. They might, too, bring you along to somewhere you didn't know you needed to be.

What's the solution if it's actually like you assumed?

As extensively covered, chitchat is only the start. If you want deep, meaningful communication, you have to start somewhere.

I'm not discussion about whether that's difficult for someone, but what you describe does not come from thin air. So what's the solution and if there isn't any, what's the most doable approach then?

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