As to your second post, I think you are on the right track. I think -- in the U.S. -- when race is brought up in discussions, white people are immediately on guard for a couple things: 1) Being perceived as a racist for something they say, regardless of whether it was meant in that way, 2) being in a conversation where someone else says something that could be perceived as racist and that they are going to be inadvertently associated with someone that is racist. For these reasons, I think most white people, when in mixed company, will generally try to avoid any discussions of race.

I'm assuming that you aren't from the U.S., so I will add that race is probably the most sensitive subject that you can discuss in this country. A label of "racist" has been known to ruin many prominent careers (whether it was deserved or not). When presented with opportunity to discuss this subject, most people will avoid it, not because they are racist, or because they don't think it is a problem, but because they are honestly afraid -- and rightly so -- of being called a racist.

Until we can have a discussion where white people are not immediately assumed to be racist because they said one thing that isn't in the accepted canon of "valid statements about race," we won't be able to have honest and open discussions about race.

Full disclosure, I'm a white, male, American.