That's super interesting. I didn't really know about the default mode network. Want to learn more!

I think with the AA thing it might have to do with loving with detachment. This actually happened to me and I think it was a combination of giving up completely and also realizing how much my self-interest was involved in the outcome - expectations about what sobriety would mean for me as well as wanting to be the savior. An interventionist pointed out to me that there were lots of people surrounding my partner trying to take care of them which prevented them from taking care of themselves, made them feel like a child instead of an adult - and thus was disempowering. We were sending a subtle message that they weren't capable of taking care of themself.