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Comment by belval | Hacker News Reader

> I can't bare the devs that go out of their way to work weekends without being asked, I can't bare the endless meetings, constant micromanagement, bringing the stress home to my family.

Have you considered just changing jobs? Not all places work weekend/have tons of meetings/micromanage. Maybe take time to assess what you like and dislike about your job and try to find a less stressful environment that fits your expectations.

This is especially easy if you have some experience in the industry. As for:

> bringing the stress home to my family.

You can work on yourself to help with this. As my girlfriend puts it "at the end of the day it's just a bunch of computers, no-one is dying". You can still have a sense of ownership while understanding that everything is not actually urgent or important.

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> As my girlfriend puts it "at the end of the day it's just a bunch of computers, no-one is dying".

This is what I tell myself every time I get a page in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately I still have to get out of bed :(

But, sadly, many jobs and especially bosses in America portray things as if failure means that someone does in fact "die"...and that metaphorical death often is your job.

Very, very good points here. You're right, the stress part is 100% a personal and perspective issue. I do try to convince myself that "no-one is dying" but the sad reality is that if I don't constantly meet deadliness, prove myself, and go above and beyond for the company (over-time and over-work); as "over the top" as it may sound, it's my kids that "die" when I lose my job and cannot provide.

If you have to work on weekends to meet deadlines, have you considered that the problem is not about yourself but about the deadline?

It's not necessarily "working weekends" that's the issue. You can have a job that requires you to work 2 hours per day and still work 6-7 days a week.

It's more the constant backlog of stuff that needed to be done yesterday, more than a deadline for a specific feature(s).

I have zero control over that, which inevitably leads to the stress of work spilling into my personal life, weekends etc.

I'll feel the need to do some work at 10pm on a Sunday night every other week, just to keep things afloat.

You have control, it's managements problem to descope or hire more staff if they have more tasks than people.

"I'll feel the need to do some work at 10pm on a Sunday night every other week, just to keep things afloat." sounds like a workplace from hell. GTFO ! I've never, in over 25 yrs now as a software developer, had to do that. BTW, public sector may be the way to go. Interesting work, less performance management / competitive cr*p, easier to make real friends at work, mission can be more valuable than some rich person trying to get even richer..etc. Public sector tends to pay less headline salary, right now, but can give career longevity due to less stress and more time to learn stuff properly.

Sometimes people die, depending on what you work on.

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