Hacker News Reader

Comment by borroka | Hacker News Reader

The "I would think that marriage should be an incredible experience to learn about yourself and your partner" is quite a bizarre statement.

Marrying somebody means inviting a third party, the State, in private affairs. Now, marriage can be convenient or recommended for religious and tax affairs, particular convictions, and for the protection of kids (then...).

But getting married to learn about yourself and your partner by, in essence, inviting a third party that in typical fashion would obfuscate instead of giving light, reminds me of the guy who wanted to be kicked in the genitals so that he could feel something brand new that day.

View on HN

I guess I was coming at it from a 'romantic way to express commitment to someone else'. I now realize I have the wrong audience here.

Do you really think by not being married the State isn't in your affairs? Now THAT is a bizarre statement.

I am 100% sure that if I broke up with my girlfriend or boyfriend, I would not need to sign any official documents. As far as I know, the procedure if we were married instead would be a bit more complicated (because of the involvement of the State).

If it were a "romantic way of expressing one's commitment to another person," it would be enough to throw a party with friends, read a couple of fashionable poems, sign a guest book instead of an official register, and not invite the State into private affairs.

Thanks for the realization: married, two children and never thought about it this way.

Only difference is taxes and rights to decide if someone is incapable.

Relationship wise nothing changed. Children however change a lot.

In some states, marriage gives additional rights regarding children. It’s weird, but I think some areas give maternal grandparents more rights than a biological father if something happens to an unmarried mother.

> Marrying somebody means inviting a third party, the State, in private affairs. Now, marriage can be convenient or recommended for religious and tax affairs, particular convictions, and for the protection of kids (then...).

I would think that marriage rates would drop rock bottom if the incentives are removed.

See: most of Europe. Few of my friends and family under 40 are married here. Some are getting married now, but more as a celebration of their relationship than anything else.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com