Well if I stopped at want 2 the rest are fullfilled. 2 are maybes and one was a no notification if there are apps. There are plenty of devices with a not to spec web browser and back in the day people use to write java apps for phones which only used the java api. I thought that might be what the app situation might be if there are apps but I'm completely fine with text+contacts being the only app

Actually I forgot one more requirement. I'd like either a headphone jack (or bluetooth) and music player for when I jog