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Comment by TheLoafOfBread | Hacker News Reader

Reason 547 why you should not connect your car to the internet. Today it is limiting range because mistake several years ago, tomorrow it will be mandatory ads every time when you start a car.

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Verdex presents: A Plausible Future

Driver: Okay Car are you ready to go?

Car: Sure thing driver, let's just hook up to the T-Network. Okay, we're in! Where's our destination?

D: Well, first thing is that I'm going to want a Mocha Frappe from the local Starbucks.

C: Sounds great! Off we go.

D: Wait, Car what are we doing at McDonalds?

C: McDonald's offers a wide variety of cafe style drinks at competitive prices. This includes your Mocha Frappe. 9 out of 10 baristas actually prefer the smooth taste of McDonald's Mocha Frappe to that of Starbucks. Have you had your break today?

D: No, I wanted Starbucks. Oh well, I guess we're already in line.

Menu: Welcome to McDonalds! What can we make for you today?

D: I would like a Mocha Frappe.

M: Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid out frappe machine is broken. What else can we make for you?

D: Really? I just wanted the Mocha. Okay Car, can you take me to Starbucks now?

C: Sounds great! Off we go.

D: No, Car, you just left the McDonald's parking lot and then came right back. They don't have any Mocha Frappe's here. They said their machine is broken.

D: I guess their frappe machine isn't the only broken machine here.

Very good. Not only will your car try to control you, it will also fail to do it properly.

My favorite part of this story is where the machine that forced you to go to the Preferred Provider⁰ was stymied by another machine that they couldn't repair because their preferred provider¹ was sued by their overlord's Preferred Provider²

0: McD, 1: Kytch, 2: Taylor

You forgot the part where it charges you for the Frappe anyway because the charge is automatic (for your convenience!) and you have to figure out which customer service you need to call to reverse the charge. Spoiler: you'd have to call all of them, wait half an hour on hold on each and at the end you'd have to reverse the charge at CC company because none of them know how to deal with it. Reversing the charge would block your car account and you'd have to spend next month with Uber while it is being sorted out.

And by being sorted out I mean you complain on Twitter and one of the Silicon Valley founders notices it by chance and mentions it in his feed, from where it reaches the support of your car company because their support VP reads it, and it is flagged as something to be handled by an actual human.

"I’ll sue you," the door said as the first screw fell out. Joe Chip said, "I’ve never been sued by a door. But I guess I can live through it."

Ubik (1969)

The trouble is, the new buyer can't charge the thing from a Tesla station until they have a "Tesla account", which means accepting Tesla's EULA, which means giving them control of the vehicle again. Muahahaha!

Now, if someone bought the vehicle, and never signed up for a Tesla account, they might have a good criminal case for "exceeds authorized access" under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. Because the original owner's obligations to the seller don't bind the new owner. (This is called "privity" in law. If A has an obligation to B, and B has an obligation to C, A does not have an obligation to C.)

This usually comes up in the other direction, where someone bought a used Tesla, the relevant DMV recognizes the transaction, but Tesla does not.[1] But it sometimes comes up when someone moves a Tesla to another country, which apparently causes Tesla to treat the vehicle as "unsupported".

Expect this to become more of an issue as more used Teslas are around, and there are more third party repair operations.

[1] https://teslamotorsclub.com/tmc/threads/can-i-supercharge-wi...

Interesting. Well they should fix this hole as they are getting subsidies to do this: https://www.tesla.com/en_GB/support/non-tesla-supercharging

You can literally just take the sim card out of the vehicle.

It’s convenient though. You get live traffic data, international radio in high quality, maps with background pictures, music and video streaming, the possibility to pre-heat or pre-cool the car while walking to it and a few other things.

Or... you can just use your phone + Android Auto / CarPlay. You will achieve same effect without connecting your car to the internet. And I will rather sacrifice preheating / precooling if it means, that I will keep control over my car.

It’s difficult to sacrifice that once you experience it.

You don't have to. Other cars have apps, too, that allow you to turn on the air conditioning from afar.

So, they have internet?

My 2014 Toyota has a button on the keyfob for pre-A/Cing. Never connected it to the net, it doesn't even know what it is.

But you have to be in the range of the key fob, it’s less useful.

Most of these are possible with the smartphone you've already got and using the car as a dumb display + sound system (via CarPlay or equivalent), with the advantage that the smartphone knows its place and the little amount of leverage it has on you compared to a car.

Don't mention CarPlay to the poor Tesla folks, they don't have it or AA.

I heard it’s fine when it works.

If only. I have an Android though.

On the other hand, with CarPlay/Android Auto I can get 95% of that without needing to depend on the usually-shitty infotainment software.

I’m not a fan of connectivity issues but I agree that the concept is interesting.

LMAO. My wife's Bolt has CarPlay and I can go in the app and pre-condition the climate inside the car. And CarPlay has many features Tesla does not offer.

So, the car has internet?

> Reason 547 why you should not connect your car to the internet.

I disagree. You should connect your car to the internet for the features (benefits) it brings. There should be laws protecting users with the connectivity though.

As a tesla owner, this story does not make me want to unhook my car from the internet (Tesla did what was legally in their right to do, this is a nothing-burger.) I would imagine 99% of other Tesla owners feel them same.

You feeling nostalgia for the good old days with MapQuest?

> Tesla did what was legally in their right to do, this is a nothing-burger.

Put me in the 1%. I won't buy another Tesla ever, until there is an ironclad guarantee that what's mine is mine. I did not license the car from them, I bought it outright.

> You feeling nostalgia for the good old days with MapQuest?

Everybody but Tesla has CarPlay. Most have 360* cameras, too, and physical switches and knobs for certain commonly used things, etc.

The real joke is this idea that Tesla is leading technologically. No, they aren't. They're behind everyone else at this point. A touchscreen-for-everything only seems futuristic to a certain niche demographic.

sure they arn't .... let's revisit in 2025

Oh so that's when you think they'll finally release FSD? Ha!

Sounds like you are Tesla's ideal customer! Most people I know don't want to have to worry about the manufacturer suddenly crippling their car's functionality months after they bought it from a private party.

I get it, it sucks, but since every car is going to support over the air updates in the coming years, it's unavoidable unless you want to drive an old ICE car.

Why stop at that? Why not a 5 second ad every 10 miles?

Oh yes. Roll down windows, full blasting stereo with an ad, so you can "transfer the message" to as wide audience as possible. Obviously it will lock audio controls so you can't mute it. Employee of the month here.

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