I've seen the word recession thrown around plenty in the press; who's avoiding saying it?

As pointed out by another commenter the NBER has never failed to declare a recession after two consecutive quarters of GDP reduction. This is a preliminary report, I would expect them to wait for the full report to actually declare it.

These things work a certain way. Whether that way is good or bad isn't relevant to this particular point, by expecting that way to change on a whim you're just being impatient.