Comment by 2-718-281-828 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by 2-718-281-828 | Hacker News Reader

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> when you go naked. In most cases there's virtually zero sexuality going on

I definitely helps that most attendees are not particularly attractive. But as soon as an actually attractive girl/woman is present - I do have to manage my attention to avoid ... ahem ... drawing unwanted attention. Happens very rarely, though. And I'm saying that as someone having gone to the sauna for many years.

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just to be clearer - I never go to the sauna with sexual intentions and never ever made anybody feel uncomfortable for sure. I just don't find this often proclaimed "saunas are asexual" credible. they can be very sexual and many people go there with that mindest - as far as I can tell (as a man) mostly from the gay community. and for me as a man who very well can admire a firm female body I simply have to say that indeed it helps that there are very few of that kind. most people are old and wrinkled and I just keep my eyes everywhere else.

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also this "naked is cool" but "sexuality is inappropriate" attitude is not fitting the lifestyle and mindest described in the article. it's a prude and artificial take on human life and desires.

I like to think I am a sauna and bath house afficianto.

I think this reaction is entirely normal. Humans have emotions but should be judged on their actions, not thoughts.

If someone takes issue with you averting your gaze, they have an issue with reality.

It unreasonable to expect others to simultaneously pay attention to your genitals and but also not notice them.

That said, I think there is a lot less cognitive dissonance in taking a polite look and moving on than trying to pretend people are disembodied heads floating around.

> I do have to manage my attention to avoid ... ahem ... drawing unwanted attention

> I [. . .] never ever made anybody feel uncomfortable for sure

Really doubt both of these things are true. It's very obvious if someone has to intentionally avoid looking around a place naturally. The people around you will notice and they will know why, and that will make them uncomfortable.

I really don't understand this impulse either. As someone who has frequently hung out with friends of my age naked, and I consider many of them very attractive, I just do not get aroused in this situation. If it's clear that it's not a sexual situation what is there to get excited about? Are you so sexually repressed that any attractive person in the nude causes such an involuntary reaction?

> As someone who has frequently hung out with friends of my age naked, and I consider many of them very attractive, I just do not get aroused in this situation

> Are you [and certainly not me] so sexually repressed that any attractive person in the nude causes such an involuntary reaction?

both of these things can't be true either :D

A sauna is usally small with seats arranged around an oven. If an attractive woman with ample bosom is sitting at right angles to me then it can be optically impossible not to constantly notice ... and yes, there are women who are seeking attention and optimize for it actively.

One of my favorite stories is seeing a pair of naked Men walking down the sidewalk in the Castro. They had matching prince Albert's, with shiny chains ganging off their penises. They would chastise people on the sidewalk for looking at them. I like to think they were doing it tongue in cheek, a kind of performance art.

In my experience, the gay male community has a pretty good culture of noticing bodies and then moving on.

That sounds pretty funny!

I think there are two thing going on.

First, a huge a mount of people are sexually repressed in the west. Second, is a double standard where looking around naturally is upsetting to some in a nude setting. This causes a lot of issues with people trying to behave in ways that were never natural to them.

When I meet someone at a work or a coffee shop, I will look at them and notice what shit, pants, and shoes they are wearing. What their body type is and if they work out. It isn't a sexual thing, just part of being an observant and curious person.

This level of attention is generally regarded as impolite for some nudists. They want to be naked but they also want their bodies to be invisible to others, which causes some serious conflicts with reality.

> Are you so sexually repressed that any attractive person in the nude causes such an involuntary reaction?

That's the opposite of sexual repression isn't it? (Taking the term literally). If you are getting more aroused in a situation than is socially acceptable, then it seems you are insufficiently repressed.

Can't one bring a towel and cover ones thighs, if need arise? And thereafter, no longer any need to worry about reacting to beautiful women, because if I've does, no one would notice anyway?

Or maybe it can look suspicious if suddenly one reaches for one's towel?

I've never been in a nude sauna though, not common around here. Seems as if could be good, anyway, with a "safety plan" to avoid getting embarrassed

> Can't one bring a towel and cover ones thighs, if need arise? And thereafter, no longer any need to worry about reacting to beautiful women, because if I've does, no one would notice anyway?

all a boy needs to bring for such a situation is fond memories of your grandma :D

Or looking down into the bench, closing ones eyes, and thinking about a pile of dead kittens!

It depends on the viewer too and their mood and circumstance.

There are times I can watch an orgy disinterestedly. Then there are times someone wears a slightly tight shirt and I need to go hide behind a counter.

Uh… This is a creepy mindset to go to these places with.

what mindset?

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