At least I'm not alone. I find the quality of the conversation in random online communities lacking. I toyed with the idea of joining vetted professional communities (paid or invite-only) but I haven't yet. Suggestions are welcome.
The C channel was the opposite. Any question was met with "google it" or "we're not going to do your homework for you." If the question was really specific, then the conversation turned to how it wasn't good for discussion in this channel because it was machine dependent.
Specifically I have lived your anecdote. Early aughts, I was in highschool at the time and asked that C channel for some advice building my first 2D RPG game in C (was using BASIC, then Pascal/Delphi before this). Literally got the exact response "we're not going to do your homework for you" when all I was asking was for some direction (libraries etc) + any existing example projects that I could read.
Honestly, I find that most highly technical people are miserable and not very receptive to helping someone learn the ropes. The majority of the peers I've worked with would rather isolate and protect their work, rather than to work collaboratively - and, I 100% get it. I've seen so many people thrown under a bus just for asking simple questions in regards to their solution. Unfairly so.
Also, I have noticed a similar correlation in front-end development. There is a consensus amongst recruiters and decision making that react is the best framework around. First it is NOT a framework ( and it would be better if it was one ), second, it was created 8 years ago when js6 wasn't out yet, and it was addressing a problem since then fixed by native js proxies. Most reactjs Devs are junior, or at best intermediate- but junior, really, since they've only worked with on library all their career, calling themselves full stack engineering, but can't write one SQL query, or cannot write anything else than js.
Those communities are very toxic, because the deliver crap code, they think they are super good and very confident about it, and they absolutely love to trash everyone that disagree with them.
See, you got the elitist toxicity, and the noob toxicity. If I had to choose, I'll run with the elites 100%. At least, we get a hope to deliver.
I'm not a part of one, but the only community formed online that I've found to last, was one with a weekly video meeting with a few people from the larger community. This actually outlasted the original community.
It's just so easy for any member to become inactive in the community without regular interaction. Free communities on Discord can plausibly be a great option, with the major caveat that the core interactions are over regular scheduled video calls, instead of mostly messages in large group chats.