That's mostly an American thing.
>Teach them it's a tool and guide them on how to use it responsibly.
Don't know about your kids or your childhood, but I always did what was cool and not what my parents told me is responsible.
My childhood was irrelevant as was yours. Time changes.
Then how do your kids communicate with those who only have android devices? That's a big social issue among teens in the US.
iMessage is never popular in Europe, as everyone here uses cross platform apps like Whatsapp, Telegram, Snapchat, etc. due to the lower market share of IOS vs Andorid.
Your case seems like an outlier.
What's missing on Android that Apple has for control?
This is a fairly large security concern if I'm honest generally.