GrapheneOS on any pixel phone is my goto. It's way easier to install a custom ROM now than back in the day, anyone can do it if they can follow instructions (and reseat their phone cable if the process stalls after a phone reboot)
some banking apps don't work but apart from that it's 100% functional
> vpn
Mullvad (Sweden based) and Proton (Switzerland based) are two VPNs with a good reputation imo.