Hi. Another OSS dev here.
Are you paid for maintaining that software? If not, and are doing another job on the side, then other people aren't entitled to your free time.
Are you paid for maintaining that software? If not, and are doing another job on the side, then other people aren't entitled to your free time.
I think entitlement sucks. When people phrase things as a "demand" it's pretty terrible. But keep in mind that the internet doesn't covey emotion properly.
A maintainers job is a community service job. Even if you volunteer (which is this case), either do it with an open heart or just don't do it at all. Otherwise this will be pretty frustrating in the long run. You will burn out and fizzle because you think of all the time wasted where you could have made real money.
If you think about it that way... Well. Answering kindly to someone whose abusive and communicating your perception can make a huge difference. I did run into the very very rare a*hole that couldn't be reasoned with. But this is extremely rare. Most people just need to be talked to and heard. We can then work together. I can't be everything to everyone but we need to form a community of people who might not agree on everything. Those IMHO are the most interesting and valuable voices in my community.
This is not inherent to the internet. It's perfectly reasonable to expect an adult to convey their emotion appropriately over text. It's also perfectly reasonable to expect an adult to not be an asshole or a jerk on their first message somewhere, especially in a public forum.
I hope as an industry and society we can get closer to a place where people who act that way are shot down quickly and severely.
I get it. It's very satisfying to give someone what they deserve. But is it the right thing for building a community?
I think about that a lot when I have political arguments too. The toxicity level is so high and people keep pushing it higher. I just had a bit of a flamewar with a guy on a different forum. But we were able to end it amicably because we didn't let it get down to name calling and I was never disrespectful. I wasn't always able to do that, it took a lot of practice to reach that point.
As an OSS dev on a small project, when I started getting paid (part time, for specific things), I tried being nice with everyone, but people didn't understand the limits of what I could do. They'd get frustrated and abusive. I'm more careful now.
More thoughs here, but it's a bit of a hodgepodge of experiences: https://www.bidon.ca/random/2022-07-25-contributor-journey/