This is not so consistent, you sound a lot like me when I was trying to cope with anxiety over the process of getting a new job in an industry that can seem very unfamiliar if you've been working in one employer for a bit.
My advice: Think of the best opportunities you've seen over the last few years and then go and write them a cover letter that shows you are taking them seriously.
You may decide to start something on your own or they may have financial problems in a changing economy and lay you off.. Those are not reasons for inaction.