Ah, indeed, quite a brain fart moment from me there, since you explained the structure right in the previous comment. Pondering cosmology while sleep-deprived is suboptimal, I guess.
Though now I'm curious about this:
> If it has even the tiniest curvature, then it curves back onto itself and is non-Euclidean
Would it be possible in theory that the three dimensions are curved like a helix—so they have constant curvature but don't intersect themselves? This way the universe would still stretch infinitely in most directions, but would be non-Euclidean, and you'd need to know where the ‘axis’ is to be able to see in a direction that shortcuts to another one.