Ask HN: What is your optimal setup for WordPress performance?

Not quite what you're asking, but I host all my own sites through spinupWP on Digital Ocean (easy, cheap), and my clients host with ServeBolt (unbelievably fast managed hosting).

Thanks this was very insightful https://spinupwp.com/doc/caching-in-spinupwp/

GridPane. Hands Down.

GridPane sounds interesting, I'm curious to understand what stack and configuration they use.

It uses whatever server you choose (Vultr, AWS, DigitalOcean, custom VPS, etc), then they have their custom GridPane install and CLI layer, then the usuals like Nginx, Percona, Redis. But the beauty is in the flexibility: staging sites, migrations, caching, scaling, backups, firewalls, PHP workers, etc.

separate the database from the web server.