I look forward to scampering around the house on four sharpened bone legs like some kind of horror movie esque spider beast when I'm an old man - it will be an excellent way to terrify the grandchildren.

Not just legs but skulls too! https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/peru-elongated-sk...

It's true! We can. In fact, the “bumps” and grooves of bones (https://www.google.com/search?q=trochanter) are a result of the forces we (and gravity) exert on them.

For some reason my first facile thought was: to add cupholders