You are right. It is not a technology problem. It is a problem of incentives. The people writing the software don't have the right incentives to make it pleasant to use.
Some of them do, and then we end up with social media that doesn't take 15 seconds to load.
This site, for instance.
It's not the incentives that make this site load in 15 seconds. The site just doesn't have the incentives found in the majority of sites to make it any more complex than it has to be.