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Comment by inphovore | Hacker News Reader

Ironic question for this forum.

Don’t be less opinionated. Lowering your standards is like poisoning your own well.

The question should be “how to avoid sounding like an ass?” Opinions aren’t the problem, lack of awareness and sensitivity towards others maybe.

There are correct contexts and methods for everything, learning to recognize and adapt to these are imperative for social survival.

Having opinions however is a sign of a restless mind. An arrow of longing so to speak. What is crude and obnoxious while young may flourish into insightful passionate interests given time and reflection.

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I think it is a fair question. The older I get I see the less opinionated I get. The opinions get replaced with curiosity as I become old. The reason I am getting less opinionated is that as years go by I come across contradictions to strong opinions I held before which weakens the fervor with which I held those opinions. So I don't think that being less opinionated is lowering my standards. I think richness of life experiences can make someone less opinionated.

Do you eat less healthy food? Or hang out with more dangerous friends? Or spend time doing more wasteful activities?

Or do you have an inward peace which makes going on about such things impractical and irrelevant?

I hear what you’re saying, and I agree that restlessly over sharing is counter productive, though I also notice that society tries to suppress the standards of others in some attempt for bland conformity.

Your answer regarding richness in life, as well as self reflection are merely your standards coming to fruition.

I think in parts it's about how you relate to other people.

When I was a teenager, I assumed in every disagreement:

* I already know the truth

* The only conceivable reason someone could disagree with me is stupidity

* The goal of a debate is to defend the truth from ignoramuses, and pummel them into submission with superior displays of snarkiness and canned rhetoric

With age, this has morphed in this direction:

* I have opinions that may or may not be true

* If someone holds a strong opinion that disagrees with my experiences, this is fascinating (how could we arrive at such different world views, while living in the same world?)

* The goal of a debate is to examine how they could arrive at a different conclusion to mine and reconcile our disparate experiences

Some amount also of "pick your battles". If you're viewed as loathing anything that wasn't your idea, people will wonder about your motives. Save it for topics that matter.

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