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Comment by cududa | Hacker News Reader

I thought I had insomnia for a decade, until the pandemic and moved to a quiet suburb. I now routinely sleep 9 hours a night.

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Yup, both for me and our cat, who calmed down amazingly moving from a dense houserow on a main-ish street to a house set 50m back from a very quiet road. Almost a different personality, and almost none of the anxiety cats usually show of moving. After one night hiding out, he was like "this is great!".

We also feel like moving again, because the soundscape has gotten so loud from highways 5-10km away. It's just steadily gotten louder in the background, but in the first months of the pandemic shutdown we could hear nature dominant again — it was just bliss! Now, it's all come roaring back louder than ever, Amazon is building a warehouse 7km away... Definitely wanting more quiet . . .

I moved to country where the o my noise I hear at night is a bubbling stream. Still get insomnia. So YMMV

Sorry you’re living that experience. Wasn’t trying to say insomnia doesn’t exist. Just for me, it was just I’m sensitive to noise and the lack of it helped me sleep. Hope you find a way to get consistent sleep.

Interesting and i kind of agree, but what about a girlfriend / wife?

I feel like scuffling about in one's own bed is ultimately what wakes me up sometimes and i haven't really found a solution that isn't sleep in separate rooms.

I already do like to sleep with white noise and earpieces.

Consider having separate top-sheets + blankets, perhaps with an over-layer blanket over all of it. Then, your partner's tossing and turning will jostle the bed, but won't pull on your cocoon of blankets (and vice versa).

Or even separate twin xl mattresses (and box springs if applicable) with a strap kit and shared king fitted sheet. My wife and I did this about 2 years ago and it's been great. She wanted a traditional mattress and I wanted to diy a memory foam mattress with a 6" layer of memory foam* (2-4 is normal). I sink into my viscoelastic cocoon every night and she sleeps on top of a normal mattress.

*Note that this is usually considered uncomfortable and possibly bad for your back. I'm a side sleeper who always had elbow and shoulder pain in the morning and it worked for me, but do your research if you ever decide to diy a mattress. It also weighs about as much as a dead moose.

A memory foam mattress that isolates your partner's movements can help.

But, foam mattresses can also by much hotter (actually more insulating) than spring mattresses which will also disturb sleep, so make sure you check that before switching.

having recently been mattress shopping, note that boxspring/whatever else you have under the mattress can have a huge impact on the isolation from left/right of the mattress. I also recommend Consumer Reports' mattress reviews. Our mattress had excellent isolation in the store, but at home, on our adjustable platform, isolation is much lower! The adjustable platform sways left and right quite a bit.

Here in Germany it's common for couples to have a duvet each. I don't like that but I do the size of the bed hugely affects my sleep. Even an extra 20cm can make a difference, maybe you could try going oversized.

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