If the US government says that it has lawfully seized your bitcoin, then by law the US government owns the bitcoin, even if they don’t possess it. If you’re successfully keeping it from them, they can and will punish you for it. Again, as FormerBandmate said, that’s the basis of their power.
A state actor has identified funds on a offshore bank account that they do not have a controlling access to. They did seize a computer that has been used in the past to access that bank account.
The bank accounts owner (or an associate) removes funds from that bank account. The state actor acts as a petulant child and claims by seizing the computer, they also seized the bank account's content - and then proceeds to arrest the bank account owner (or their associate).
No judge in their right mind would let that fly.
I have no idea why crypto would be treated any different.
Lol. Lmao, even. Let's just suppose a completely different kind of human.
I guess there are people who drive off cliffs and whatnot, but somehow that feels like an honest mistake and not as funny to me.
Okay.
Idk you're suggesting the existence of a human that, while not impossible, must be vanishingly rare. Perhaps you don't really understand what torture means?
This is nothing new and is proven throughout history.
It's also perfectly understandable that you'll choose the well being of your child or significant other over some money.