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I think the point of the OP is missed here. Productive teams don’t need any of this garbage; least of all a religious war about methodologies.

Productive teams are primarily hackers solving larger problems. This stuff gets in the way, causing the team to morph into developers instead.

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So... developers aren't productive?

This is a weird take.

Yeah, good point. If productivity equates to value creation then hackers are more productive. If productivity equates to what software management can measure, then developers are more productive.

I’m making a pithy statement about the difference hackers and developers

I gotta say that your distinction between 'hackers' and 'developers' is pretty ill-informed - just out of curiosity, have you primarily worked in start-ups?

This has a real "no TRUE Scotsman" vibe

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