I'm glad I'm not alone in that experience. Why the hell do I need an account to get developer tools in the first place?
Because there is a history of rootkits being embedded into development tools.
https://9to5mac.com/2015/09/20/xcode-ghost-app-store-malware...
Running unsigned code requires several hoops, even running signed code which isn't Apple Approved requires telling the OS that you know what you're doing, twice.
Running signed code which has been altered, such as a hacked XCode, isn't possible, as far as I know.
If this was the reason developer accounts were required, it no longer is. From Apple's perspective, there's only upside in requiring them, which is the most likely explanation for why they do.