The presumption of these questions is astonishing. You know nothing about me, and certainly not the extent to which I’ve “rationally questioned” my beliefs. (Of course, I recognize the laughably invidious premise of your question, which is that, had I truly and “rationally” done so, I would cease to be a Christian. Give me a break.)

A recommendation: Try practicing a little intellectual humility. It will get you farther with people. Have a good one.