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You could say, "I don't want to work for a company using other languages on the BEAM VM" or "I considered Elixir and I don't like it because of X"

It just seems completely out of context and aggressive. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The fact that it's out of context and the tone is so different is what made me take it as not so serious and just a playful jab at Elixir.

I think the interpretation everyone seems to be taking (which is surprising to me personally!) is such that it's like Elon requiring people to put "Parody" in their name.

There's a time and a place, though, no? "Screw Elixir" might be fine as an opinion on its own, but in the same breath as "I would like a job"?

Exactly.

Right? I could easily list a few companies hiring Erlang developers, including the one I currently work for but that attitude is a big no-no for me.

Having strong opinions is a great thing, expressing them in such a way is not. Especially if you expect to be taken seriously.