"I'm converting to the Amish faith and forsaking technology."
Best part: when they ask if there's anyone you'd like to transfer the account to, you can instantly play the indignant card.
"And turn someone else away from the Lord with the distractions of worldly temptation?!"
SR: "So, what shows do you like to watch?"
Me: "I don't watch any shows because I don't have cable."
SR: "How about you subscribe to our cable service then you can watch some good shows?"
Me: "I can't...I don't have a TV."
SR: "Why don't you buy a TV so you can watch some good shows?"
Me: "I can't...I don't have electricity." (I lied)
SR: (dead silence for a second or two...)
SR: "Thank you sir. Have a nice day."
They never bothered me again.
...the "can we tempt you back with this offer" mails started immediate after.
I want to activate this life hack I do but in an easier way: when I'm dealing with a person who gets monetary gain for upselling me, how about I hand them that amount and get straight talk from then on? 1% commission on my $1,000 mattress? Here's 10 bucks now gimme the real skinny, see?!