Translating Finnish poetry/lyrics into a more analytic language like Swedish or English is torturous. All the little helper words just feel so clunky.
And they used to say Finnish wasn't fit for poetry.
And they used to say Finnish wasn't fit for poetry.
The pros do something I love and it seems like magic the way it comes out, but then, they do a very different job
Green upon the flooded Avon shone the after-storm-wet-sky
Quick the struggling withy branches let the leaves of Autumn fly
And a star shone over Bristol, wonderfully far and high.
- John Betjeman
[1] maybe you are?
You can judge my skill here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33640260
It may not be professional, but I don't think it'll be found wanting for much.
Note, though: I said translating things from an agglutinative language with very free word order into a more analytical one with restricted word order is torturous, not that you can't write good poetry in English. Merely that the translation itself is really, really hard because of the format differences.
I can't take a better shot at what you've written in your other comment because I can't get a whole picture of what it's trying to say, it seems a rush of images rather than a scene, but as one image that makes sense (gold corrupting, I think)
I bowed to gold, bowing to gold I grasped at the netherworld
I bow low to gold, and bowing, seize the underworld