Comment by autismparent | Hacker News Reader

Comment by autismparent | Hacker News Reader

(Creating a throwaway account to respond to this post rather than use my regular HN account)

I see the comments about what the kid did being abhorrent and that autism should not excuse it. I understand where these commenters are coming from. But allow me to tell you what you're missing.

I'm the parent of an autistic pre-teen. He's "high functioning" because he can talk, read, write, do math and goes to a regular school. But I can totally see him doing something stupid and insensitive like this. The problem is there are several things he just doesn't understand no matter how many times you explain it to him. There are echoes of this problem in the article:

> He [Brandon] just doesn’t understand why he’s still in prison.

> Brandon recently started writing letters to the prison warden and to Judge Ruiz, asking to be let out. “Brandon, that’s just not going to work,” Fleury tells him. But he has to keep explaining it. These days they have the same conversations, over and over, round and round, and get nowhere: Brandon just doesn’t understand.

It's obvious to us that sending such hateful, hurtful messages is wrong. But some autistic brains simply do not understand this. Here are some things my kid does not understand no matter how many times we explain it to him: * If someone doesn't want to include you (e.g. in their Minecraft server, or party), there is no point in crashing in uninvited. * You don't say to someone every day that they stink (have BO). * You can go to the bathroom when you're at your piano teacher's house. * Just because one Chinese girl bullied you does not mean all people of Chinese origin are evil.

If you haven't experienced interactions with such an autistic person, you would not believe there exists anyone who doesn't get something so basic. Even if you've met several autistic people, it's possible you haven't met someone with this specific blindspot.

So yes, if I were the judge in Brandon's case, I'd be more lenient.

> I'm the parent of an autistic pre-teen. He's "high functioning" because he can talk, read, write, do math and goes to a regular school. But I can totally see him doing something stupid and insensitive like this. The problem is there are several things he just doesn't understand no matter how many times you explain it to him. There are echoes of this problem in the article:

Would you say your kid is otherwise very caring and sensitive though?

Your comment makes your kid sound mean, but I'm guessing that's not the case at all. For example I'm sure it's common for him to say means things to people he deeply loves simply because he doesn't understand the weight of what he's saying? "You look fat in that", etc.

I just think this is an important point to stress because autistic people aren't monsters. They're usually very loving people who just see things differently.

Yeah exactly! In the autistic brain and I'm speaking as a person who's on the spectrum but who is also aware of this thing because I'm on the higher end of higher functioning... But in the autistic brain like I try to put myself in someone else's shoes like if someone came up to me and said I looked fat wearing something... My initial, and I'll put it this way for ease of conversation, autistic reaction in my brain is "oh thank you for telling me because I sometimes am not aware of the way something is fitting me and I like to have an external confirmation of what I put on might not look the way I think it does look". But you know it matters on the thing that was told to me in a blunt way but most of the time my reaction to being told something bluntly is not what a neurotypical person would react. Like, to me, I feel it is an "out of control" and "impulsive" reaction to react the way most people would to being told that they look fat wearing something... Which is usually "how dare you" or some other sort of baser reaction. Some sort of a lower level personal insult reaction... And I think that's where the disconnect comes from with these blunt statement miscommunications between people on the spectrum and people not on the spectrum. It's the filtering out of the illogical animalistic reaction and in some cases the autistic person judging the neurotypical person as less in control of their faculties even because they react this offended way... It's almost like, I'm the disabled one I'm the one who's told that I have the problems except I don't react the way these people do all the time but why am I told that I'm doing the wrong thing when they are the one acting aggressive...

But I digress I could go on about this miscommunication stuff for a long time because I seem to have a very unique ability to see both sides..

It might be obvious to others that something was "wrong" but also against some of the wrongs there are laws. Could be useful to explain this guy that he broke a law by doing it? So instead of explaining the feelings part, to insist on the technicalities - also how to avoid it in the future (if it applies)?

I would be extremely more lenient also and I would also try to do something as a judge or as a lawyer before I was a judge to change the way the system works to for there to be some sort of early intervention if a perpetrator I guess would be the term is suspected or known of being on the spectrum or have ADHD. Both of these things benefit greatly from early and frequent and consistent intervention. Not hiding things behind the scenes building up a case and then all of a sudden blowing down a door and then arresting them that is the worst thing.

This is really interesting, thank you. I had never heard your highlighted point that a child won't understand despite multiple reminders. On a personal level that sounds incredibly difficult and heartbreaking to deal with.

As a HN commentator do you have ideas for how society should work with regards to this issue? Especially regarding preventing harmful situations where parents of autistic children aren't able to provide enough support.

Prison is not just about the person. Action of that person needs to be taken care of. But I also think that prison is not about punishment. So prison will not work for this person. He should be taken care of by some other institution.

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