>I am a transgender minority and I get paid below average for my field. Probability wise you are in a position with more privilege then me.

You might be surprised, but even if not, using the "less privileged" card from a position of someone in power enforcing illegal and unethical mandates on potential and existing employees is not the best application for it.

>The problem is etiquette. It's sort of not good to put this in the job description officially so employers need to somehow subtly convey this employees that this is what will be expected.

No, the problem with doing something illegal (that you can't explicitly put in the job description even) AND douchey is that it's illegal and douchey.

"How you'd do this bullying coercion subtly so you get what you want and screw the employees" is not a real problem.