The HDPI icon pop ups automatically on ventura in display settings.
I would also change the cable and try a different one if that doesn't work. Sometimes the DP cable end up causing issues with monitor recognition.
No. I meant if you have a DP to USB type C cable, you may switch to see if issue resolved.
Try plugging it in and out a few times (yes, it worked for me when it went back to not recognizing).
I have the same mac but a different 4K monitor. Sadly, I don't know any other solution.
Macbook display and scaling handling on external monitors is one of the worst I have experienced by a long margin so know you are not alone.