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Comment by imdsm | Hacker News Reader

I couldn't say this any better. Once you have kids, everything changes. The impact of getting ill is no longer how it affects you, if you've done enough with your time, but how it will affect them. It's like a dark cloud that follows, in the back of your mind every day. Ultimately, it helps you realise what really matters, and what doesn't.

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I doubt you actually mean this is the case for everyone. Obviously there are a lot of parents that don't feel this way. I have a recent example where a few years ago my friends dad (friend is ~35,dad is ~75) wanted the son to give up a kidney even though he had other health concerns and most likely wouldn't last a few more years regardless. That doesn't sound like love as I wouldn't even ask that of a good friend.

There are of course always exceptions. It's funny, I'm on the reverse of that, I'm the dad, have pretty bad kidneys (30 years of kidney stones will do a lot of damage) but there isn't a hair on my head that would think of accepting a kidney from one of my children so that I can live longer.

Ive just had my first child, shes 7 months old. Tbh the responsibility (coupled with the fact that im a bit of a hypochondriac) can sometimes feel overwhelming. Im blessed that i have her, but damn.

Those first few months are extra hard but cherish them anyway, soon enough she'll be asking you for the car keys. Time flies. And congratulations!

Indeed, nothing to help focus the mind like having kids. Until I held my firstborn life was all fun and games.

Is it a bad thing for life to be fun and games?

No, absolutely not. But it is somewhat incompatible with having the responsibility for one or more children. I'm sure it can be done but most people that I know that have children see them as their first responsibility.

I consider this one of life's greatest privileges. The responsibility of it all can be overwhelming, but I have perspective in droves!

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