Ask HN: How do you overcome irrational fear of failure? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How do you overcome irrational fear of failure?

7 pointsrvbissell4 comments

Right this moment, I am faced with an unfamiliar task that I have no exact prior experience in[0], and it scares me. I don't think it should scare me, though. I have sufficient experience in 90% of the steps involved[1], just not this particular combination, or particular circumstance. Also, for various reasons the project as a whole carries a perceived high cost of failure. Those perceived high stakes cause me to procrastinate, and suffer from analysis paralysis. Consequently, these kinds of projects take me far longer than they really ought to.

I know from prior projects that I am usually successful at this kind of thing, and thus quite proud of my results. But that doesn't seem to make my fear of failure any less potent during subsequent projects.

I'm wondering if others on HN suffer from this kind of paralyzing anxiety, and if they have any strategies to share for overcoming it?

Footnotes:

[0] In this instance, it happens to be a DIY home improvement project, building and installing a support frame for drop-in jetted tub. However, I'm asking this question generally, because for me this question applies equally to situations in my technical career.

[1] basic rough carpentry, 120v electrical, mixing sanded portland cement, connecting PVC waste plumbing, etc.

The same way you deal with failure in software. See it as a possible path and plan accordingly.

Some can risk everything, I can't. But there are somethings that I can.

What happens if you get this wrong? You have to call in a builder to help and have a little egg on your face. So what you get to learn how to fix it. You get to see how the builder would do it.

An attempt is going to get you personal growth no matter what. If it's something you don't want to do then why do it at all? But it sounds like you would have fun with this.

Do you set high standards for yourself?

I am much quicker at minor household repairs than my spouse, whose father emphasised that everything must be done with millimetre precision, because I am satisfied to work to centimetre precision: the worst that can happen is that the dogfood tastes bad, and then I redo it a little more carefully.

The software analogy is that a few times ("launch_missiles()") we need to be very sure that all preconditions are met (indeed, had been determined at compile time) before each and every invocation, but just about all other times we save a lot of compute by assuming the happy path, and aborting to a relatively more expensive fixup routine in the rare cases it should become necessary (in the rare cases we determine the postconditions have not been assured).

Yes I do set high standards for myself. And in many cases I think that is appropriate, outside of software. (A good example would be: tiling a shower. If your grout lines aren't straight, you and everyone else will notice.)

I do occasionally have projects where centimeter precision is sufficient, and you are right that I'm never anxious about those.

You only lose when you've failed to learn.

Most endeavors represent opportunities to pocket new keys. These keys represent future opportunities. Always maximize possibility.

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