Good news! Your computer is ready for Windows 11! And how about a nice game of Solitude Candy Smackers (TM)? Have you tried the new Microsoft Edge web browser? It's not a browser, it's a WOWser!
Honestly, I'm not even sure if this is a parody or not.
I got mid 90s (80s?) Steve Ballmer vibes
"Got it!"
> It's not a browser, it's a WOWser!
I just died a little inside; well done :D
Actually, it's real. I started getting spam emails from some new browser vendor, a contact of mine apparently had shared their contacts with them. They used that line, "it's a WOWser".
edit: Rock Melt, anno pre-2012, perhaps 2010.
...And then let me bother you with the lated MSNBS celebrity nonsense in your start menu when you're trying to find an application