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I just wish you could have you own domain while not hosting an instance, like just pointing your DNS records at an email server hosted by somebody else.

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Unless I'm reading your reply incorrectly, you absolutely could do the same thing. (You are referring to managed hosting solutions, right?)

https://growyourown.services/making-your-own-mastodon-server...

This website has some instructions and pointers that might be helpful.

The way I read it it's more like wanting to be able to present as user@mycustomdomain.com without having to have your own instance and retaining the ability to move between providers. Sorta like pointing your domain at Google Workplace for a few bucks a month.

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