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Comment by noduerme | Hacker News Reader

> letting that dread and anxiety and excitement wash over you while you genuinely contemplate making the switch.

But life also happens anyways. For me, a lot of what constitutes "staring into the abyss" is accepting that neither the original plan nor my alternate wish worked out as expected - despite the best laid plans - because almost nothing ever does. It's not just considering all the implications of a decision but accepting that things just work out differently than you hoped.

[edit] I guess I mean that accepting the inevitability of previous disappointments is as much or more a part of grappling with the abyss as is considering the future.

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To me "staring into the abyss" isn't just "accepting things". Its an action. Its something you can spend your time doing. Lots of people don't do it - especially in the modern age of social media where the abyss can be kept away with an infinitely scrolling list of entertaining content.

I live in a highrise building with a beautiful view. I've spent a lot of precious hours just sitting on my couch looking over the city and thinking. Those moments have yielded a bounty of insights. But for all the valuable thoughts on the couch waiting for me, I don't go there very often. There's always something more stimulating that wants my attention. Letting my attention settle on some random thread on HN (coughs) instead of pondering infinity has a deep cost that we rarely account for.

Many folks refuse to accept or do either of these things. If you aren’t that person, then congrats! Well, maybe. It has pros and cons either way.

I can honestly say I’m pretty good at this and feel like its more of a burden to me in my life so far. I no longer know anyone who shares this trait, and most people find even hearing me talk about it uncomfortable.

Perhaps I will get the opportunity to use it someday, but as of now it is really just emotionally taxing to have many uncomfortable thoughts that I have to bottle up.

Look into Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration

It helped me.

Thank you.

I think most great writers and a few great barflies share it with you. But it's definitely increasingly difficult to encounter in honest conversation, because the structure of modern life does everything possible to discourage honest conversation about the meaning (or especially the meaninglessness) of life.

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