> In my personal life experience with abusive people, I find it makes me want to be more in favor of unconditional help for others, not less.

This has nothing to do with conditional or conditional help, or help at all. You feel compelled to fool yourself into believing you're not being exploited, but you're the only one believing that nonsense. You're dealt with like the mark in a con, and not exercising any common sense does not make you more pious, just an easy mark without self esteem.

The people that leech off of you are not the ones who need it the most. They are just the ones that don't mind profiting from less than ethical and moral means.