Your inner voice is essentially how you parent your inner child You. Imagine that 10 year old You was standing in front of adult you right now. Would you still use expletives etc? We ought to learn from 5th grade teachers on how to talk to kids - encouragement, “could” vs “should”, avoiding harsh criticism. Affirmations work because it’s giving deliberate encouragement/praise to our inner child selves. Saying things out out & hearing them is “special” to our brain. Deliberately using emotion (rather than saying it dryly & rote) is effective. Music can help.

> my self talk is usually some expletive ridden tirade

Dan Harris gave a short talk about how alien self-love practices felt to him, having lived with similarly harsh self-talk. It’s entertaining and it might resonate with you too:

https://youtu.be/NuhIzO57HVk