Effortlessly being able to act out of love, kindness, and compassion regardless of the external environment is going to be my goto definition of explaining enlightenment in the future.
Once observing all I’m finding is different forces at play and nothing I can call “free”.
Some examples - preference is at the center of choices. Do I choose my preferences - for pleasure over pain and foods I like over ones I dislike? Not really I just execute the programming of preference.
Overlaid by history, beliefs, attachment style, trauma patterns, current levels of stress, blood sugar, rest thirst etc.
In my experience unpacking free will is incredibly liberating.
Is there an equivalent in stoicism?
Also, I believe, like Stoicism, Advaita is not a religion at its core. More like a collection of inquiries and the unspeakable silent understanding that arises from the inquiry.
I was wondering if you have some good resources/books on Advaita.
Thanks!
It's not a good idea to go though life bitter, angry, suspicious and angry at the world and everybody around you because you fear that someday down the line in many years somebody might exploit your kindness.
In my worldview/self-understanding, having solid boundaries is a core requirement of living joyfully. You have to love yourself in order to live joyfully, and having & enforcing clear boundaries is a requirement of loving yourself (where love is used as an active verb). Allowing someone else -- a company or a person -- to violate your boundaries is not compatible with actualized self love.
The main goal is peaceful contentment regardless of what the world does. Pursuing happiness as in euphoria is a fool's errand. Euphoric feelings are not something we can ever generate on demand. Instead, the goal is to control what you can, which is only ever your response to the world.
There's a sense in which this feels selfish -- which it is, but that's okay. I would say one thing companies certainly do is try to make people feel guilty for prioritizing their own mental health and wellness. Don't let them do that. Having boundaries at work is not something to be guilty about. For instance, I do not work more than 40 hours in a week without abnormal extenuating circumstances. I've made that extremely clear to management. I've certainly had a supervisor or two try to push the envelope, but I just make sure to not let the envelope get pushed. That doesn't mean I'm not living joyfully or with empathy. I can enforce my boundary without getting defensive, guilty, angry, or any other negative feeling. In fact, I've found that me pushing back goes much more smoothly when I do so calmly and without anger or defensiveness.
By the way, no one's saying this is easy. What happens when a family member dies suddenly? No one in existence can prevent themselves from having an uncontrolled negative emotional reaction to tragedy. That's okay. Perfection is not the goal, just continual improvement.