Comment by leandot | Hacker News Reader

Comment by leandot | Hacker News Reader

- Spend quality time with them (not browsing your phone while you pretend to play).

- Kids learn from your behavior, not from what you say. So if you tell them to clean but you don't, it won't work.

- If you want them to do something, you can spend hours arguing and pushing them with no success. But if you offer to help (even if you don't do anything really), they'll gladly do it together with you.

- Kids do not need expensive toys, I've thrown away tons of costly buys, while they choose to play with some paper packaging or a wooden stick found outside.

- Read stories every evening before you put them to bed. They will want to read later.

- Just be yourself, they don't judge.

- Also, sometimes they're just too young for what you expect them to be able to do. Until 3-4, they operate mostly on emotions.

> Kids learn from your behavior, not from what you say

This so much. I have a 3-yearold, it's enough to see a behavior once and they will repeat it at one point. They don't understand the reasoning behind actions, they notice patterns and learn by adopting those patterns. Eg, I marked her height with a pen on the door frame, and she used it as an excuse a few days later to draw on the wall, because daddy did it. But don't be afraid to share feelings, they sense it, so it's nice to explain when dad or mum are stressed, angry, etc, meaning try to explain feelings rather than loose your temper, shout or argue (seems self evident doesn't it, but they can push you over the edge). They will pick up on how you handle emotions...and their emotions are big, like really big, so they need to learn healthy coping mechanisms.

> Kids do not need expensive toys,...

Completely agree with this point. It's the bulky plastic toys that are the most wasteful. One exception for us was good quality roller blades and a good balance bike. We wanted to help our kid with her motor skills and to spend more time outside. She started riding the bicycle before the age of 2 and we go hiking as well, learning to ice skate & roller blade before age 3. A lot of other parents in our circle seem to be more protective and think it's too early for outside activities like this.

Reading. You can combine "learn from your behaviour" and "read stories" by showing them how much you enjoy books (by enjoying books). A good reader has so many advantages, and so much more to enjoy.

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