Nope, you don't.
It's just that somehow techies seem to have gotten this meme into their heads that an unpatched life isn't worth living. Can't update my phone within 1 microsecond of a patch being released? I guess I might as well just die. Much safer than risking the << 1% chance of getting malware on it, and everyone knows malware is worse than hell.
> The repairability sounds nice, but it is very irrelevant compared to the limited software updates.
I had an Android phone that didn't have OS updates for several years and... it was just fine. I was only forced to finally upgrade to get better reception on other bands it didn't support. If the hardware could keep pace I would've easily kept it with its current OS for another half decade, until apps just got so bloated that I couldn't use it anymore.
> Imagine buying a Windows laptop and only receiving three years of security updates
That's a bad analogy for so many reasons. Android's security is WAY more hardened than Windows's, your phone's apps (including your [likely] Chrome browser) would still get security updates, and even with Windows this isn't as horrifying as you're suggesting. (I've done much worse.)